to top

Who do you think you are?

who-do-you-think-you-are

“Who do you think you are?”. Have you ever heard those ugly words in your head? That phrase that comes attacking, accusing, and leaving you without an answer. It is a simple statement that packs quite a punch. One quick jab with these words and I’m down for the count. This was my week. Have you ever been there?

My list of insecurities and doubts about myself do not usually require any additional help. On a good week, a mom can struggle with a multitude of worries and fears. But, sometimes when you feel your weakest, those thoughts can strike. They are no respecter of persons. It doesn’t care your age, race, or religion. It’s just looking for an open door. And I’ll be the first to admit, I’ve left my door wide open. So many thoughts that I should shoot down and fight against with the word of God are the same thoughts that I often come into agreement with. It’s more than “Who do you think you are?”. It’s “Who do you think you’re not?”.

I’m not the best mom or wife. I’m not a great cook. I’ve gained weight. I can be lazy. I’m impatient and sometimes talk before I think. My house is a mess. My kids eat junk. My list could go on. And on. It’s the perfect conditions for a terrible storm. One that the enemy would love to sweep through my life, my family, and my church. If he can keep me stuck in the mess of insecurity, I’m disengaged. I’m not fighting and protecting the ones that I love. If he can distract me, where my thoughts are focused on myself and my inability, then I forget about The One I serve, who is fully able.

Zechariah 4:6 says, “not by power, nor by might, but by My Spirit, says The Lord.” This apples to every day life. I can’t do it on my own. My flesh will always fail. My mind will always lead me against His Word. My emotions will not tell me the truth in situations. But, as we learn to walk in His Spirit each and every day, He will empower us. It’s our job to guard are minds and hearts. So many times, I have had to learn this lesson. And each time after trying to work it out on my own, I have to go back and say “I’m sorry”. I’m sorry Lord for not trusting you. I’m sorry for not relying on Your wisdom. I’m sorry for excluding You in my life. The things that I think are so unimportant, really matter to God. He cares about my bad days. He wants me to succeed. He wants me to trust Him. God is not concerned with perfection. He is not worried about who I am not. He’s too busy loving me as I am.

As a mom, it’s amazing what God can teach you through your children. I often look at my kids, knowing the love I have for them and yet, I cannot imagine how God feels towards us. One day this week, I was busy cleaning the house and the kids were playing. When I was finished, my daughter Macy told me she had a surprise. I was told to close my eyes and she guided me down the hall, to my bedroom. When I opened my eyes, I saw that she had made my bed for me (this has never happened before!). She was so proud of her work and so was I. I had not asked her to do this, she simply wanted to. It came from her heart. A couple days later, The Lord quietly reminded me of this and said…”This is how I feel for you. I’m proud of you.”

Here is a picture of the most beautiful bed ever made! Now, by perfectionist standards (which would sometimes be mine), it falls short. But, when you look at the heart of the matter, this one wins the prize! I’m so thankful our Heavenly Father doesn’t say, “who do you think you are.” He simply says, “I’m proud of you. You are mine.”