This year, our church has had somewhat of a theme or a distinct purpose. And that is, to make God big. Now, you may be wondering; if He’s God, isn’t He already big? Or why would God need help with that? Both are great questions, but our mission statement isn’t to discredit our creator or minimize His power. It’s actually putting our faith on the stand. When push comes to shove, what does my life say about my God? Do my actions (and better yet, my attitude) back up what I believe? Do I act like He is God?
A couple of months ago, The Lord began to deal with me on the level of my worship. Now let me stop and clarify, that by “worship” I don’t necessarily mean lifting my hands or singing a song. Yes, I believe outward displays of affection to Jesus are important and necessary in our Christian walk. But, for me, this went past the physical and struck the deepest parts of my heart. Worship is a lifestyle. Worship is personal. Worship is devotion and adoration. Worship looks beyond present circumstances and chooses to believe that God is always God. Worship isn’t a feeling. Worship is faith. My worship says a lot about who I believe God to be. Do I think He’s just ok? Do I only come to Him in my time of need? Am I living in fear, not really trusting in the One who created me? More than words, our worship says a lot.
If I’m being honest, worship for me hasn’t always been this way. Growing up in the church gave me a great foundation and knowledge of Christ, but I always lacked the intimacy that was necessary to really love the Lord. Sure, I loved the idea of Him. I enjoyed the songs and the services. Gosh, I even loved being involved and seeing others come to Christ. But all I had was religion, not relationship. Fear and insecurity always kept me at a distance. It’s hard to be comfortable with someone you don’t know. It’s almost impossible to love someone you’ve never spent time with. And even more difficult to trust someone you’re afraid to talk to.
Years ago, I began to ask God for a revelation of His love. And what I realized is that it would take work on my part. As I began to read His Word, it became less of a chore and more of an opportunity. The stories began to come alive and a once-believed distant God became more real to me. I began to see someone I wanted to get to know. I began to see that I had Him all wrong. You see, the question isn’t is God big or is God good? It’s this: Am I making God big? Do I show that He is good?
It’s easy to look back and feel that I wasted years, but every season and every struggle serves a purpose. Sometimes it takes the wilderness to fully appreciate the Promise Land. It’s so awesome that God uses for good what the enemy meant for harm. The fear that once held me back caused me to seek out the Savior. The insecurity that use to keep me quiet is now at the feet of Jesus. Because in my weaknesses (and there’s a lot), He is strong. He is able. He is more than enough. He is fully qualified. He is patient. He restores. He heals. He gives joy. He loves. And He is good….always.