Middle School dodgeball. I hated middle school to begin with, but throw an unathletic, awkward teen in the middle of a dodge ball fight and you have disaster. Before the game would ever begin, I remember feeling anxiety and stress as they picked teams. I was never first and usually last. And during the game, I was an easy target. You couldn’t pay me enough to go back and relive this time in my life.
As adults, sometimes life can mimic the scene above. No one enjoys being overlooked or underappreciated. Every one of us has a deep desire to be accepted and valued. Other people’s successes can somehow dim the hope of our own. Watching another’s dream come to reality feels threatening. We are suddenly thrown back to our 13-year old, gym shorts wearing self….feeling rejected and in last place. The only difference is this: life is not a game of dodge ball.
Too many times, I’ve wrested with these ugly emotions. I’ve taken the bait and believed that someone else’s blessings, somehow subtracted mine. That there is not enough room for us all. But, God doesn’t work that way. I don’t believe His goal is to pick a team of superb athletes and all stars, leaving us underdogs out in the cold. If you and I love Jesus, and have a heart to serve, then He welcomes us all to participate. Now His plans for me may differ from someone else’s. My calling may be behind the scenes, while another’s is in the spotlight. Regardless of the details, it’s all important and equal in His eyes. Just as our physical bodies contain many parts, so does the body of Christ. And the awesome thing is, it’s not based on ability. It’s our availability. Are we available for whatever He has for us?
I constantly find myself having to lay down my own desires and shift my focus back to His. I want what Jesus wants. Whatever it looks like, however it comes packaged, I want to be available. Because His ways and plans far surpass anything I could conjure up myself. Many times when I’ve counted myself out and felt totally unqualified, He’s had other plans. And I’m learning more everyday that He truly knows best.
